I've been feeling a bit up and down lately, with regards to a lot of things. Work, diet, fitness, environment, blogging... I've been determined not to start the year off like this, but still there have been days that have gotten the better of me. I decided to go for a run yesterday and if you know me really well then you'll know that I hate running. It kills me. Signing me up to do a marathon/ half marathon is probably the cruelest joke someone could play on me. Im not going to lie and say that i'm a total health nut, i'm not. But i am an advocate of taking care of yourself, mind body and soul. I think its imperative to an all round happy healthy life. So consistent self-maintenance is something I believe we all need to lead a holistic lifestyle.
The truth is, I haven't been taking much care of myself lately. I've just been lacking motivation to do very much, and ironically I have a lot to do. We're behind on our wedding schedule as over christmas it all just fell by the wayside a bit. I've been trying to pick up on it, but have been put off by the amount we have to do by certain dates. Its self perpetuating.
Anyway, back to running. I really don't know how people enjoy it. To me, its always been a little... boring; you know where you're going, it's tedious and its far too easy to stop and give up. When I run, i'm out of breath in like, 2 minutes {I still maintain this is because my lungs are underdeveloped - I don't know how else to explain how its possible for someone to have such short breath. Especially when there are kids running faster than me}. My face loses all colour, my stomach flips a little and I feel sick and my lungs feel like they're trying to bust out of my rib cage. It's not the best feeling.
I often wonder how people around me are doing it too. I'll be jogging along, dying inside, then someone runs past me and when I look up, they're already out of site. I wonder what they're thinking about to keep them going.
But the other day I read a post over on Natashas blog that inspired me and made me want to pull my socks up, Stat!
It may be obvious (maybe not) but it's completely true that running, like most fitness regimes, is a mental thing. And this is what I need to change. The people I was wondering about aren't all doing it because they enjoy it, but probably because they are trying to reach a fitness goal, get in shape, train for a marathon, challenge themselves. They are pushing themselves to their limit, and this is what I need to train my mind to do, and training the mind isn't easy.
I guess this explains the expression 'you can do anything you put your mind to'
So I guess the point i'm trying to make is that this can apply to anything in life. Cast your minds back over the past few years, I'll bet there are a few of you that have set yourselves goals/resolutions/plans that haven't panned out because you've always had the ''it'll happen one day'' attitude. And you get to new year, and another one and surprise - it's never materialised.
For me its always been fitness. But thats not going to happen this year. I doubt I will ever 'enjoy' running and I'll have to work hard to push myself in this realm of my life, but I am going to persevere. Things only get harder the older you get, and while I'm still a young thing I am aware that each day counts and you should make hay while the sun shines.
I'm also getting over a cold. My nose is all bunged up and I can't smell/taste a thing... but I kicked my own ass and did it anyway. And to be fair, when I lose my motivation I have to stop myself, look around me and put things in perspective: I do get to run around one of the most impressive tracks you could ever imagine, under the hotel that my brother helped design {which is weirdly comforting}, and jog past yachts with pretty names like Indian Empress and Loaloat.
However, with my wedding on the horizon and my fitness level currently at zero, i think its time to call in reinforcements: someone to prise the milky way minis out of my hands basically.
The last Personal trainer I had made me cry {for real}
...so hopefully my next one will ease me in slowly.
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